my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
