I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
