I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
