Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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