So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
