carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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