Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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