I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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