Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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