When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
