omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
