wake up i wanna do it froggy style
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize