I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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