make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
