i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
