I hope mine doesn't look like that
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
