a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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