its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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