He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize