You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
