And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize