just come out here and I will go home with you...
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
