Fine. I'll sleep in my office
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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