i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Randomize
