I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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