If i come over, it means nothing
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
