We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
