Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
