Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She announced her abortion via fbk
operation have a gay friend backfired
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
