when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
