Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize