Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
