this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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