mondays should just be called national damage control day
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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