i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
