my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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