are you so shy because you have an std?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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