I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Someone shit on the floor
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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