bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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