oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize