Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize