quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
