New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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