garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
wat bout pragnant strippers??
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
