We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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