a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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