dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I could fuck to npr.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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