Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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