im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
