she woke up with a sticky ear
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
