$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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