I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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