fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
