if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
