The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
