the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
