im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
