But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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