There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
oh god the rape fog is back!
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
