so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize