sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
