ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
